EuorEnglish
EuroEnglishhttp://www.icw-net.com/howto/funstuff/euroengl.htm
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English willbe the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the otherpossibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government concededthat English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": --
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will makethe sivil sevants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor ofthe "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one lessletter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when thetroublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted toreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governmentswill enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben adeterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of thesilent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropdfrom vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozerkombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mortrubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English willbe the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the otherpossibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government concededthat English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish": --
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will makethe sivil sevants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor ofthe "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one lessletter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when thetroublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted toreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governmentswill enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben adeterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of thesilent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropdfrom vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozerkombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mortrubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
posted by bitandpieces at 7:19 AM
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